Ava Lynn Cruz

I am sure that most of you are aware of what has happened. For those of you who don't....this has been a really bad week for us.

Monday started off with a trip to the doctor because of unusual discharge. The doctor did a pelvic exam and reassured us that the cerclage was in place and that I needed to take it easy.

Tuesday started off with a trip to the hospital because I was leaking so bad we needed to make sure my sac wasn't leaking. The liquid was tested and came back negative for amniotic fluid. Ava's heartbeat was strong and I was told to go home and take it easy. In the meantime...I am starting to feel small cramps come and go.

Wednesday started off with another trip to the doctor for an ultrasound....at which time they discovered that my cervix had pretty much thinned out and the cerclage was the only thing holding the baby in and I was ordered to complete bedrest. Still feeling some cramping.

On to Thursday.....I was woke up in the middle of the night by small contractions.....that continued to increase in length and strength....and by 5 am I was pretty concerned. I woke Mike and and told him we needed to go back to the hospital because I was having contractions. And once we got there they finally admitted me. I was told that no matter what...I would probably not be leaving until the baby was born.

They tested the fluid again and it once again was negative. Then they FINALLY did some blood work....which showed I had an infection. They gave me at least 4 shots that day and 4 pills to try and stop the contractions. Nothing really worked.

Friday morning I was told that the infection was in the uterus and that there was nothing they could do to stop it. They had to induce me...otherwise the infection could harm not only the baby...but myself included. Ava Lynn Cruz was born February 20th, 2009. She weighed 1 lb 3 0z. and was 11 3/4 inches long and because she was only 23 weeks old she couldn't survive.

We don't know where to go from here. We are devastated. And I mean DEVASTATED. We came so close this time. I am writing this and I am still in the hospital. I go home tomorrow without her and I am soooooo upset and angry. It's NOT fair. Mike and I wanted this baby so much....as we did the last two. WHY?????????

I just need to go ahead and end this now. Probably not the best time to write on my blog. We will have a graveside service for her down in Wharton on Monday, February 22, 2009 at 2pm at Evergreen Cemetery. She will be laid to rest next to her Pops.

One of Mike's cousins wrote this on his myspace page.... GOD'S nursery is where she will play now.

I know that she is in the best place ever.....but our hearts hurt for her. She was beautiful and we miss her very much.