A Bitter Sweet Day.......

April 20th is a very important day in my life.....and there are two reasons why. Let me start with the first...

Seven years ago today the most important man in my life (besides God) passed away. It's hard to believe it's been 7 years. So much has happened in the past 7 years that my dad has missed. And yes....I know he is always here watching over us......but for anyone who has ever lost someone you already know that it's NOT the same as him actually being here to experience it with us. To start off with.....he not around to see his 3 beautiful grand daughters grow up. All 3 were at my mom's house last night and I took turns asking them to tell me their age. Ashlyn....Currently 7, will be 8 in about 3 weeks. Should I say 8 going on 16. She was almost 2 when her "Pops" passed away.....and now she is in 3rd grade and already boy crazy! haha Then there is Katelynn....who turned 5 in February. She is the one who looks most like a Toney. She's full of energy....and personality. =) She never got to meet her "Pops" .....but she misses him anyways. There's never a dull moment with her....and I know my dad gets a kick out of that in heaven.....especially when Stacey or me are watching her...since neither one of us has much patience! And last there is Brooklynne. She is two, cute as a button, and ever so sweet. She is changing so much right now and I know my dad is watching over her from heaven. It's funny because I've had several people say that she favors me when I was little....and I wonder if my dad see's his "little girl" in her. Dad.....Brooklynne likes to talk on th phone....need I say more?? =)
There are also big events in our lives that he has missed. Stephanie was lucky....dad was around for her wedding....BUT....he wasn't around to hear the joy in her voice when she found out she was pregnant with Katelynn and Brooklynne. He wasn't around to see me graduate from college. His dream for all of his girls was that they would graduate from college...and we did. There were times when I wanted to quite school...and I promise you the ONLY thing that kept me going was my parents. He wasn't there for Stacey's wedding last year....nor for mine 4 weeks ago. I could go on and on about things he has missed....but I won't. Eventhough it isn't the same for us....we all know that he's up above looking over us....and I know that he is proud of all 7 of his girls. 7 blessings for 7 years.

Has everyone heard the "pennies from heaven" story? Basically it says that pennies found on the ground are dropped down by angels or loved ones who have passed on...it's kind like their way of saying "hello". Well....it seems like there is something daily in my life that reminds me of my dad. This morning before I came to work I stopped at the cemetery to see my dad. I remembered several weeks ago that my mom had bought some bright and pretty flowers for his grave. Well....when I walked up my dad had some cheesy looking pink plastic flowers on his grave. I just stood there thinking...." Ok Mom.....could you possibly pick flowers that look any worse" haha. And then I looked at the grave next to my dad and saw that they had flowers just like the ones my mom had bought. Then the thought popped into my head that my mom came out at night....and of course didn't have her glasses on...haha...and maybe she put them on the wrong grave. Pretty bad huh? So as soon as I got to my car I called to ask her. And of course she said there was no way she put them on the wrong grave. And then....and this is soooooo funny....she asked me if I took the flowers off the other persons grave and put them back on my dad's!!??? I was like... "NO!!!" haha. She said what probably happened was that the mowers might have moved them or the wind could of blown and someone didn't know which grave to put them back on. What's the point of this big, long story?? =) Two things came to mind....first of all....my dad was a very generous person. He always put others before himself and he was willing to always help someone out. Second....my dad loved jokes....he was a pretty funny guy...and as his daughter I was always embarrassed. =) So after I hung up with my mom it brought a smile to my face to think....well....I guess my dad felt bad because the person next to him had some cheesy pink plastic flowers and he wanted to help that person out....OR....he wanted to play a joke on me. Either way....I know a higher power had a hand in switching those flowers and it brought joy to my day knowing my dad is still very involved in my life....eventhough he is not here physically.
For anyone reading this....please keep my family...especially my mom in your thoughts and prayers today. Dad....please know that we love you and miss you very much!

The second reason April 20th is an important day in my life is because 3 years ago today the void of the most important man in my life was filled. Although we have only been husband and wife for 4 weeks now.....Micheal and I have been together for 3 years. Mike asked me to be his girlfriend on April 20th for a very specific reason. He knew that April 20th was a very sad day for me and he wanted it to also be a happy day. And for the past 3 years it has been. God has blessed me with a wonderful man and I am very grateful. Just like anyone though....I am human and I do take him for granted.....we both probably take each other for granted sometimes. For anyone in a relationship....you know that everyday is a learning experience. We are still in the beginning stages of our relationship and still have so much to learn about each other. We made a commitment before God 4 weeks ago to spend the rest of our lives together.... and regardless of disagreements on issues....=)....I look FORWARD to spending the rest of my life with him. Mike....you are the most important man in my life now and I love you very much. Mike......thank you for being you...and thank you for loving me. Happy Anniversary!